"What are you doing?" my mom asks, curiosity filling her voice.
"Nothing..." I reply, trying to keep my voice level.
Its not that I'm trying to hide what I'm doing, I just don't want to get into a long, drawn out conversation, filled with "Well, why are you doing that?" and "You should be doing this instead."
My "nothing" is thinking. What am I thinking of? People, mainly my family and friends. What are they doing? Are they laughing, crying, sleeping, learning? What are they thinking of? Are they thinking of me? This "nothing", my "nothing" makes total sense. I am a conscious person. I'm constantly thinking of others. I like to know if my family and friends are healthy and safe. I guess I care too much. So, its no surprise that I tell people I'm doing nothing, holding more things in.
Sometimes, I just want to be by myself, keep things to myself. I don't tell people I'm upset. Instead, I let things build up inside of me. I reply with my standard, "I'm fine. My day was good." That's my go to answer. The answer I use to keep the peace. Why don't I the truth, tell people what's going on? I guess I don't want people to worry. I don't want to add more stress to their already too busy lives. I don't want people to think that anything is wrong with me. I don't want to be thought of as a charity case, the object of gossip. I don't want to upset people. So, what do I do? Yep, you guessed it, I keep things to myself. Everyday, I try to keep up the perfect facade. If I look okay on the outside, then surely people will think everything is okay on the inside. Only people who truly know me, know when I'm upset. They know to look at my eyes. When I'm happy, really having a good day, my eyes will twinkle like diamonds. When I'm upset, and try to cover it up by saying I'm fine, my eyes will look dull, expressionless. I don't like keeping things inside. I know that secrets can hurt. But, sometimes the truth hurts much more.
"Abby, how are you? How was your day?" my mom asks, her hand touching my shoulder.
"I'm fine. My day was good." I reply, my eyes not meeting hers, while wanting to tell her so much more.
I love how honest you are, putting yourself out on the line. I feel like just the topic of the story hits the universal so good job! I think your story could use so more details. Its mostly just telling; maybe include how holding in emotions make you feel better. I love the last sentence!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sam! The last line is awesome, and I love it too! Its a good piece that could be absolutely amazing if you added more detail. Show us how you hold everything in, don't just tell us. Other than that I really enjoyed your piece :))
ReplyDeleteThis wad a VERY well written piece. The details are very strong and the piece is very relateable. Add more to the last paragraph to improve? Idk haha this was a really good like dead on.
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